I’m sitting here, on my couch watching NCIS.. the show we watched all summer long last year, I can’t help but veg out and think about everything from October 2010 until now.. You, Cody Miller, have caused me so much joy and also so much pain. We had a wonderful run, we both know that, but then when things ended.. it was all down hill from there. We did nothing but talk shit on each other and act as if we hated each other, I did such a good job at putting up this front when someone talked about you or said your name but deep down, you are still my favorite hello. It’s so hard for me to see you move on knowning everything we’ve gone through, and it sucks because EVERYONE tells me that you’re a waste of my time, or they question WHY I can’t get over you… Whelp, if people went through what you and I went through, cody, they would be a little bit more understanding. But no one understands, and no one asks why.. bitches choose to sit there and talk about us like they know us.. Like they know our deep dark secret. Ha. No one knows.. I just can’t seem to let you go, I won’t be able to let you go until you move to Boise. I just wish you wouldn’t come around and show off the fact that you’re over me. I mean, I understand that you can’t love me forever, or would love me forever, but you don’t have to show it off and rub it in my face. All I want from you anymore is to leave and come back as a sympathetic person, for you to actually care that I have to deal with this loss daily!! Do you even know what today is? No, you don’t. because you don’t care.. Whereas I have had a sleepless night thinking about the huge mistake we thought we made, that moment where we thought “there goes my life” when in all seriousness, it was the best thing that ever happened to us.. and then we lost it. We lost the only thing that meant everything to us, well, to me anyway.
Just go, go and be the douche you’re always going to be.